What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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