So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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