In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
