so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
