Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
