last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
