Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
