i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
