i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
