I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
