Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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