Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
