She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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