Where is the hickey?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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