Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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