Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
