he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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