dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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