Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
