I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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