my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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