Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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