well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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