nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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