That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
