i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
ttyl tear gas
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Randomize
