the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
