just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
