She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
