i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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