so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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