I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
