One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
