Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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