Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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