I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
