Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
