So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
