I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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