I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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