He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
