Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
