they need to just BURY HIM!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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