no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
