She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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