I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
