My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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