This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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