why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
