i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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