so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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