Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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